Safari Bait

From koffi kuku Fri May 26 10:19:38 2006

Smart guy, the officials that I talk to say that your church does not exist anywhere and is not at any camp in chad. The police official is the president? I can see now that you are a fraud playing serious games. What do you gain with this? I just want to know why. I have never know anyone like you. You are a unimaginable bastard pig to do this to me. I want you to know that i will spend my life to find you and when I do you and your family will suffer terrible as i have, I promise.

Good by bastard


From Kuhm Belcher Fri May 26 11:26:30 2006

Hi “Mr. Kuku” or is it Achiu (that’s your real name, right?),

I don’t usually do this, but as long as you’ve figured this out, I will make an exception in your case.

First off, congrats for finally putting it all together. I was starting to think that you were retarded or something. Is it too late to ask for a postcard from Khartoum? Haha, just kidding. Save your money for the trip back. How is Khartoum by the way? I’ve never been there and I am really curious.

Second, you asked me why I did all this. I’ll tell you why. It’s mostly because I hate people that try to scam honest, hard working people out of their life savings. I hate, even more, people that are willing to steal from priests and from homeless refugees. That’s right fool; I knew you were a scammer from your very first letter you sent last year. Can you believe it? That was 8 months ago. Wow. How time flies by.

I’ve got to say this though, you were quite the challenge. I get fools like you to travel all the time but it usually takes less than a month. There were times that I almost gave up on you.

How do you suppose Oney is doing? He is one of the monkies that you sent to Farchana, isn’t he? Do you think that he is still alive or perhaps he is getting regularly ass-fucked by the barbarian horde in some prison in Darfur? It’s a shame that you did not go with him and the other guy. I could have gotten three scammers at one time.

By the way, did you know that you are famous now? That’s right Achiu, famous. For the last month or so, I have been sharing every email, every detail with thousands of other people like me that also enjoy messing with stupid little boys like you. We have all gotten a big kick watching this.

You even caused a bit of a stir too. A moral debate continued for days. Some thought that I was a little harsh on you. Personally, I think that you were lucky that it was only me on the other end of the computer or telephone. There are others out there far more talented at this than I am that could have gotten you to Antarctica by now, which, if I were you, is exactly where I would be headed. I cannot imagine that your family back in Lagos is too happy with you at the moment. Maybe when the boys eventually crawl out from whatever rock they are under, your family will let you go back to Lagos.

Well, cocktard, I’ve said just about all that I wanted to. When you get to Antarctica, be sure to stay bundled up. It gets pretty damn cold there you know. And if you find yourself a bit light on cash, give me call. I’ll see if I can Western Union some money to you.


Rev. Kuhm Belcher (also not my real name)




From Kuhm Belcher Mon May 29 10:23:27 2006

Hi there Kuku,

How’s Antarctica? Remember before when I told you that you were famous? Here’s the website that made it all happen.

Look, I know that you are probably still a little upset over what happened, but I was wondering if you could do me a HUGE favour. Could you send me your photograph? I never did get one of you and it would help me complete the website. As an extra insentive, I will put in a good word for you with your family, telling them that it is not your fault that Oney is either dead or someone’s prison fuck-toy.

Thanks in advance for your cooperation.


Rev. Kuhm Belcher

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