Edward Uwa

[The day of the flight dawns]

From: Johnny Cash
To: [email protected]

Dear Mr. Marshal,

This is my last email before I board the plane in just over an hours time.

Just to let you know that everything is in place, and I have the cash payment with me, strapped around my waist for extra security. I hope we can complete the deal ASAP and you receive everything you deserve.

Please forward my regards to Edward. I must say I am disturbed that he never got back to me about the Mowgli’s, but once I have the funds in my hands the Mowgli’s can go screw themselves!

Sincerely,

Mr. Johnny Cash.

 

[Oh dear. Looks like Johnny Cash didn’t arrive after all. Mr. Marshal is disturbed]

From: “harry marshal” <[email protected]>
Date: Mon, 06 Oct 2003 04:05:44 -0500
Subject: IT IS SURPRISING.

ATTN:JOHNNY,

I AM WRITING TO YOU NOW WITH ANNOYANCE FOR WHAT YOU HAVE DONE TO US BY NOT COMING DOWN TO NIGERIA AS IT WAS SCHEDULED YESTERDAY.

YOU SHOULD UNDERSTAND THAT YOU ARE NOT DEALING WITH LITTLE BOYS BUT WITH PEOPLE OF INTEGRITY AND HONOUR. [And I’m married to Britney Spears]

BE YOU ADVISED THAT THIS BUSINESS IS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD BECAUSE YOU HAVE A STAKE IN THE TRANSACTION.SO YOUR ATTITUDE TOWARDS THE BUSINESS SO FAR IS NOT ENCOURAGING. INFACT, I AM NOW DOUBTING YOUR CAPABILITY TO FINALISE THIS BUSINESS.

I IN PARTICULAR AND THE OFFICIALS WERE WAITING PATIENTLY AT THE AIRPORT TO WELCOME YOU BUT YOU DID NOT TURN UP.AS A MATTER OF FACT, I WENT AS FAR TO CROSS- CHECK THE MANUSCRIPT LIST OF THOSE THAT CAME WITH THE BRITISH AIRWAYS ON SUNDAY BUT YOUR NAME WAS NOT AMONG .THAT SOUNDS SO CHILDISH BUT I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO TALK UNTIL I HEAR FROM YOU.

PLEASE YOU ARE ADVISED TO COMMUNICATE WITH ME FAST SO THAT I WILL KNOW THE NEXT LINE OF ACTION TO TAKE BECAUSE I CAN’T ALLOW THIS MONEY TO WASTE AWAY WHILE I HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO HAVE IT FOR LIFE.

I AM EXPECTING YOUR REPLY. [It’s certainly on the way Harry]

YOURS FAITHFULLY,

BARRISTER HARRY MARSHAL.

 

Edward Uwa voicemail (sounding pissed off) calls to ask where I am. Click HERE to listen – 55 Seconds (89k)

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